Intimacy

Someone once said that real power is the ability to maintain intimacy. Real STRENGTH is the ability to maintain contact. Whereas games are an ego default when being “real” feels too scary.

Human beings by default are social creatures who were created to feel and share affection. God created each one of us with a longing for intimacy. In the book of Genesis we see God visiting Adam and Eve every now and then for a closer relationship and even when this relationship went soar because of sin God still went ahead and  sent his only begotten son. He gave up His one and only son as sacrifice to renew the relationship because He values intimacy with man.

According to open bible website, there over 61 verses about intimacy with God and each verse describes an intense affection for God. David who has been referenced as a man after God’s heart pours out his heart in the book of Psalm chapter 63 verse 1-11 without any reservations “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,”

What is intimacy?

Dr. Cheryl MacDonald has defined intimacy as a relationship with another person that develops over time.  In other words intimacy takes time, effort and motivation and all forms require emotional work. Intimacy also requires the courage to be able to let others in, to such an extent that they see your inside. That sounds scary to most people which have led many to develop the fear of intimacy.  A person who fears intimacy avoids closeness in relationships because closeness in relationships (peer or romantic) creates vulnerability and the potential for strong negative emotions. The disadvantage to this is that the child of an avoidant person may grow up not knowing how to express their emotions and thus feel rejected.

In relationship, a partner who is committed to playing safe will never allow himself or herself to experience love. They will toy with it, dipping their toes in and out of the water without ever getting wet. However, such a partner will not have the chance to experience the beauty of real affection and closeness.  Such a person will miss out on understanding that by being vulnerable you are actually demonstrating a higher level of courage.